There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
