Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
