Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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