Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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