Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport

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(979): View more from Texas

Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.

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(210): View more from Texas

she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,

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(630): View more from Illinois

the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed

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(252): View more from North Carolina

i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.

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(941): View more from Florida

What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.

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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"

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