Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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