Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
