the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
