White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
