whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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