Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
