I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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