I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I just want nice things and good sex
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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