How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
