A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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