airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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