so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
