so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
