I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
We are all done wearing pants today
Dick very happy bro
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
