On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
