I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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