my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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