Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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