He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
