Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
