you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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