She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
