All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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