i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
