Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
