In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
barbara walters just said penis...
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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