don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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