I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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