If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
