this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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