you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
