Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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