Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
420 ftw
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize