Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize