Pappa wants mamma naked
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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