Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
