they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
i think i just lost a toe
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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