i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
