My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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