we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
