Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
