i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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