So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
