Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
