When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
