so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
this boner is exhausting
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
