break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
