dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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