But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Randomize
