this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
