Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
