i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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