I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
