He uses pillows to masturbate.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
