check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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