you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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