No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize