Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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