someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
