walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
