Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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