I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i came on her dog
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
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