so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
