That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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