I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
