Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
