I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize