Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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