Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
