K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
