I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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