Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
worst night to have a conscience
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I need to calm my uterus...
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