how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
My brain says no but my pants say off.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
